What is a Man?

Gender roles have been one of the most controversial topics since the beginning of time. The question what is a man, what makes a man, and what are the characteristics of a good one? Some philosophers have tried to answer and/or come to some universal conclusion of these questions, but the lines are still blurry on this subject.

The author Wes Moore had a better image of what a real man was because he experienced what it is to have a father in his life, even if it was just while he was a small child. I remember from the book when Wes and Nikki, his sister, were playing around and Wes punched her. His mother was so furious with him, but he had a hard time understanding why because Nikki was just his sister. Wes’s dad came up to talk to him and said, ‘“Main Man, you can’t hit people, and particularly women. You must defend them, not fight them. Do you understand.”’ Later in the chapter, Wes states, “I was his main man. He was my protector.” That statement was so profound. Through this encounter, Wes was shown what a man is and isn’t supposed to do. Also unconsciously he was shown a man is also supposed to protect, especially women. The other Wes Moore had a very different experience. His dad left before he was born and came into the picture years later. Wes’s male figure was Tony, his older brother. Even though Tony want the best for Wes, he didn’t practice what he preached. Wes learned that a man is someone who is strong, tough, ridged, and respected.

According to dictionary.com, being masculine is “having qualities traditionally ascribed to men, such as strength and boldness.” I agree partly with this definition. To me a man is also someone who puts God first, loves his family, is strong, trustworthy, and has a good balance between being tough and being vulnerable. That’s my definition of a real man.

A manly Man

The tests and trials of manhood have long plagued the male population of our world. For years, boys have been held to strict guidelines as to what they can and cannot do as far as what was considered proper conduct for a man. Growing up, boys often learned through experience what was expected of them: “straighten up! Real men don’t cry! You need to learn how to fight.  No one likes a sissy, get out of your feelings.” They are slowly conditioned into the ways that society sees  fit for a man. As boys mature into young adults, they also learn that they must do certain things in order to prove themselves among other men. In the Other Wes Moore, the author is faced with the challenge of proving his street cred to his friends who stay close to his home. For Wes, his lies about his fights at school, and his alleged running of the campus, is his only means or connecting with the people in his neighborhood. For the author Wes, his manhood had to be proven where it counted: in the streets. No one really cared that he went to the fancy prep school, just as long as he was running the place. For the other Wes Moore, the meaning of masculinity also came from the notion of the streets. For him, being a feared drug dealer meant more than a high school diploma. From this Wes’ perspective, we see that from his point of view, a man is made only by the fear and authority he has over people. Since both Wes Moore’s grew up in similar neighborhoods, they had similar views on men, those the author Wes had a slightly better experience with men in his life. ( fathers, grandfather, ect.) To me, masculinity is a trait that exemplifies how well a man can act as a leader, father or just acting in a manly way. I do believe in the old sayings of how boys need to be tough and lead households, but I also believe that they shouldn’t be emotionally distant or higher up when it comes to comparing the two sexes.

Masculinity in the Moore’s Eyes

The author Wes Moore viewed masculinity as being the man of the house and fatherly to his kids and loving to his kids. Basically being there for his kids. On the other hand, the other Wes Moore was completely opposite. He believed that violence and gaining respect by hurting others is being masculine. Which in my opinion is the wrong definition by far. Inflicting pain on others does no mean you are stronger or more masculine. I call that being a bully. The author Wes Moore seemed to have the ideal definition of masculinity.

I really can’t relate masculinity to myself being that I am a young woman but in my eyes masculinity is a man is able to take care of his family and own up to his responsibilities as a father and husband. Or if that man is not married masculinity is then just taking responsibility for his own actions. Just because using force may work and make you feel more masculine than the person you are pushing around, I believe violence is not the definition of masculinity. The author Wes Moore’s definition fits my belief of masculinity perfectly and I believes this makes him a better man then the other Wes Moore because he doesn’t need to use force and treating people badly to get his point across.  Some people believes masculinity is when you are not fatherly to your own son and trying to control everything and all the situations dealing with it. Or people believe that impressing certain people or acting different around a certain crows is being masculine. That is definitely not the right definition. Overall, masculinity is being responsible for everything you do without using force or violence. If you happen to come across a situation say for instance to protect  your family and you are obligated to use violence then that is the only time acceptable. Other than that, the author Wes Moore hit the definition right on the nose.

 

Masculinity!

In the book, “The other Wes Moore,” each Wes Moore had a different perspective of masculinity was. The author Wes Moore, had a view that there were certain things a man was supposed to do as part of being considered a man. Growing up with a male figure such as his father, it helped him define masculinity and get a better understanding and have an example of how to carry yourself as a man. It taught you the responsibilities that go along with being a man. Wes Moore didn’t figure out the roles and responsibilites right away. It took some time but all that matters is that he figured it out. The way he proved his masculinity is the way most of today’s society views masculinity.

As for the other Wes Moore, his view of masculinity is what society would look down on today. Wes Moore has the mindset of a thug, or someone who was trying to prove themself to others who in the end really didn’t matter. Now that he’s incarcerated, where are his “buddies” and all the street gangs he was trying to prove a point to? Either incarcerated or still on the streets minding their business not thinking about him. If they’re still on the streets, they have time still to prove what masculinity is. Wes Moore showed masculinity by doing certain crimes. He looked to his brother Tony, who did illegal acts to earn money and because Wes Moore didn’t have a male figure in his life, he looked to his brother and he followed him. So Wes Moore grew up thinking hustling and earning money anyway he could, illegal or legal ways.

When it comes to masculinity, I think of more than one way to define masculinity. There are three ways to define what masculinity is. The first one is the biological meaning that refers to sexual characteristics. The second one is sociological meaning that refers to the way society sees the roles men and women play. The third one is psychological meaning referring to certain traits that males and females have.

Sexual characteristics is one way to define masculinity. Most men have broad shoulders, are built bigger than women, and are taller most of the time. Sexual characteristics do include reproductive organs that distinguish males from females. In today’s society, masculinity is no longer just based on gender. There are masculine females and feminine males. It is more accepted now than before. If you see a female dressed like a male, you’re going to think she’s masculine. If you see a male dressed like a female, you’re going to think he’s feminine. Also, the way they carry themselves. The way society view you and the roles you play during your daily life. Psychological, which is referring to certain traits that males and females carry have to deal with roles also, as well as traits they possess. When you think of a male, you think of his being dominate, being the man of the household, providing for the family, taking care of business, etc. This is how it’s supposed to be but now a days, this isn’t always the case. There are a lot of dominate females who play male roles because they feel more comfortable and don’t want to have to ever depend on anyone.

I believe that my view of masculinity follows under the author Wes Moore because there are just some things you do and some things you don’t. I am a positive person and I feel that the way the other Wes Moore saw masculinity is negative and with a mindset like that, you’re going to end up in trouble. I think it has to do with your environment as well. Growing up I knew a lot of boys who didn’t have a father figure, or any male figure in their life and grew up around all women. Believe me when I said it was easy to tell, it was easy. Just by the way they acted and carried theemself. That’s because that’s all they knew. So in this story, they have different definitions of masculinity because of how they grew up and the type of household they were raised in.

Masculinity and the Way We See it

Wes Moore’s understanding of masculinity came through the events that defined his life. Wes was raised by his mother and learned what he could and could not due to women through the way his mother yelled at him. After Wes was corrected by his mother, not to hit his sister, he learned how to properly show one’s masculinity and how not to use it against women. When Wes was sent to Valley Forge Military Academy and College, he saw an opportunity to use his masculinity to the highest level of service to his country. Joining the army after he did his research in Africa, Wes was deployed to Afghanistan to serve in the military’s cause of finding those responsible for the attacks on 9/11, as well as establishing a better form of government then the Taliban. Wes’s understanding is different than the other Wes Moore’s understanding. The other Wes felt as if being a part of a gang was the way to show how masculine he was. He felt that the “thug life” was a way to say that no one can question his masculinity. It was not until he was sent to prison that other Wes truly understood how being a man was using one’s qualities of being strong, courageous, and a focused worker. He wanted to reconnect with his family. He also converted to Islam and practices their strict day to day practices. In the Muslim culture, masculinity has a different approach then other cultures, but emotions are expressed.

Masculinity in my life has also been a define part of my character. Growing up in a Hispanic household, boys are told to be machismo, or “macho” as another way of putting it. However, being machismo, I must support those in my family and protect those in my life who need it most. Being the oldest of my cousins and brother, I have to be the example on what masculine qualities mean for my family. Not having “toxic masculine” qualities and been socially respectable is the impression I must make. Not be abuse people who cannot protect themselves is something I must never do. Masculine qualities such as to be strong for my family is what I must do. Masculinity in my eyes falls into the way Wes Moore, the author, sees it.

What Is Masculinity?

In the other Wes Moore, both main characters think that masculinity defines being a boss, “the man”, and trying to act like a man at a very young age doing things little boys are too young to even do. Both Moore’s were trying to be little thugs thinking that defined them being a man. Neither boys had a father in their life, which made it difficult for them to figure out what exactly a man should do. They didn’t know how to impress a lady like a man should, and even thought being a hood boy would be to their mothers likings. The other Wes Moore’s mom didn’t want her son selling drugs and being out in the streets doing all kinds of nonsense, but she wasn’t as strict as Wes Moore’s mom. We know this because the other Wes Moore’s mom didn’t nip it in the bud compared to Wes Moore’s mom. Wes Moore’s mom told him that being a man was about getting an education and making something of yourself, and that being out in the streets wasn’t going to get you there. Both Moore’s had the same path and mindset and surroundings. Their surrounds affected their mindset and their actions. Both characters tended to do what they typically saw from a day to day basis. The only difference is Wes Moore changed and realized what a real man should me finding the proper definition of masculinity. The other Wes Moore did not and his gang banging motives lead him to prison.

My definition of masculinity is defined by appearance, which are masculine features but theres a lot more to it. An educated, hard-working, independent man is what defines masculinity. I don’t consider anyone a man unless he has his life together and is making something of himself. That consists of getting a good education and having a hard working job to be able to provide for yourself. A male who wasted his education experience when he had the opportunity is a fool. Education should be valued by everyone, because a lot of people aren’t able to receive it. A man should also have his priorities together, knowing what’s important and not important.

Defining Masculinity

I believe that each person’s definition for masculinity is different. In The Other Wes Moore, the two Wes Moores may have grown up in the same neighborhood, but the lifestyles they lead were opposites.  The author Wes Moore believed that the masculinity for him was to be there for his family basically being the man of the house. The other Wes Moore believed that masculinity of his was being violent, hurting others and gaining respect from the people on the streets.

Although I am a female, my definition of masculinity is being strong whenever someone pushes you down, and always stand your ground when you know you are right. But never take your masculinity into violence because violence will never solve anything. My parents are my role models for my bright future. You need to keep going at what you want to get there. Although there will be people to push you down, you need to stand your ground.

Masculinity

Each person’s masculinity definition most likely comes from their personal experiences in life, and more or less their environment that they grow up in. In The Other Wes Moore, the two Wes Moores had two different perceptions of masculinity because they grew up in two separate environments. The author, who actually got to experience having a man around, developed some of his ideas from his father for that brief period of time. He believed in the masculinity of being the man of the house and handling business the right, legal way. Even though it took some life experience to figure it out, his definition of masculinity being in the power of education and turning away from the streets. While the other Wes Moore, whom never had a proper role model, turned to violence and respect from the streets to define his masculinity. They both wanted to be providers for their future families, but the other Wes Moore wanted to do so by any means necessary. Both of their definitions of masculinity affected the outcome of their lives. For the author, he had a very positive outcome that included active service to the United States Army. In the case of the other Wes Moore, his definition took him behind bars for the rest of his life. Not only did their perceptions of masculinity affect their life, but also the choices that they made to defend their masculinity.

My definition of masculinity is basically a mixture of both of their definitions. I believe masculinity comes from the heart. In accordance with the author, I believe everything should be done the legal way and accepting that education plays a key role is important. I also agree with the other Wes Moore about respect, but respect from the streets in a different manner. When I speak of respect from the streets, I mean respect because of him being in control of his life and not having his pride on the nearest corner. Masculinity also involves being able to take control of one’s own responsibilities as a man.

Defining Masculinity

To me each Wes Moore had a different definition of what masculinity is. The author, Wes Moore, understood what it was like to be masculine because his father was there as an example of what to do. Wes Moore knew as a man he should get an education so he could be able to support and provide for his family. Even though he had a rocky start, Wes Moore was still able to change his life around. The author, Wes Moore’s, understanding that hard work truly pays off in the end allowed him to become the author, husband and succesful man he is today.

As for the other Wes Moore, he never had a father figure there to show him right from wrong. The closest example he was his brother, Tony, and he was far from what a good man should be. The other Wes Moore’s definition of masculinity was standing on the corner in order to make fast money. Wes Moore saw his brother, Tony, and the amount of money he made by selling drugs so he automatically thought that was the way to go because no one else was there to lead him in the right direction. He would rather the quick, right now approach risking his life with the law rather than going to school and making guaranteed money. The other Wes Moore’s need for quick money ultimately landed him in prison for life.

My definition of masculinity is a young man who can legally and legitimently provide for his family. He’s there to show his children right from wrong and lead them on the correct path. Also my definition would most likely be similar to the author, Wes Moore’s, defintion because I too believe that a person should work hard in order to be successful. I would rather the guaranteed pay check compared to the right now money that’s really not worth it in the end because it can lead to legal troubles that can cost me my life.

What Defines Masculinity?

When it comes to the theme of masculinity in “The Other Wes Moore,” the point of view for masculinity differs for the author and the other Wes Moore. For instance, the other Wes Moore’s ideal image of masculinity is someone who can provide for their family. However, his views are distorted from the influences around him. He begins to sell drugs in order to help his mother pay the bills at their house. Even though his heart is in the right place, a man should make an honest living and honest money. Furthermore, before Wes goes to prison he doesn’t really take care of the family he currently had. Given that Wes didn’t have a father around to teach him about masculinity, he had to learn about masculinity from the influences around him. Nevertheless, the author’s view of masculinity differs compared to the other Wes Moore. For example, masculinity for the author focused on not giving up on the people around him. The author wants to leave military school, but his mother encourages him by saying his whole family is supporting him even his deceased father. Therefore, he excelled in military school and other various activities because he didn’t want to let anyone down.

In my opinion, a person that is masculine is not a person that is strong in body and can be determined as a male from their characteristics, but someone that is emotionally equipped to handle anything. Furthermore, masculinity means taking responsibility for ones actions and the people those actions might affect along the way. For instance, there are some men in our society who are not there for their kids and as an effect their neglect affects their children. Even more so, women should also take responsibility when it comes to this issue. Lastly, masculinity should refer to someone who is honest with their life and the people in it.